The One Relationship

Feet walking on the edge of the lawn

Special occasions often bring us together with family and friends more than usual. There’re a time filled with extra activity and it can be easy to get so caught up in everything around us that we lose ourselves. This isn’t necessarily good or bad; it’s simply part of life.

When we lose ourselves, we get thrown off balance and conflict can arise both within and around us. One way to find our center again is by becoming aware of the relationships that stir up unrest.

Here’s something to consider…we have relationships with anything and everything in our lives and there’s one relationship that matters most, the one we have with ourselves.

Each day begins with that one relationship. From there, we move into connection with others…our spouse or partner, children, or even pets. As we drive to work, we’re in relationship with our vehicle. At work, we’re relating with coworkers, projects, and deadlines. At lunch, we’re in relationship with our food. After work, it might be groceries or errands—more relationships.

The reality is, we have a relationship with everything. The question is…how are we relating in each one?

Some relationships bring joy, while others are not so pleasant. Do we need to track all of them? No. Growing in awareness means noticing the ones that cause us to struggle or feel unsettled. Maybe it’s a hectic morning with too much to do. Maybe it’s pressure at work. Maybe it’s someone we find irritating. That “one relationship” worth noticing is the one that pushes us out of balance, pointing us back to what’s happening inside.

And it’s not always about people. It could be our relationship with money, time, work, health or even special occasions themselves.

For example, a friend of mine (I’ll call her Martha) often got upset because a family member showed up unannounced. Just thinking of this person irritated her. I invited Martha to shift her focus away from the family member and instead explore what was happening inside…her thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. As she did, she realized her deeper upset was with herself for allowing her boundaries to be crossed and her time disrespected. Once she became aware of that, she had the power to heal the unrest and move forward in peace.

Awareness works like this…once we identify the relationship that triggers us, we become like detectives. Who’s involved? What’s happening? Where and when is it taking place? These details bring clarity. Awareness itself is already half the healing; from there, we can choose new responses.

So, what’s causing us to lose ourselves? What’s throwing us out of balance? And how do we find

our way back to center?

Sometimes the struggle isn’t about a person at all. It might be the stress of yard work, frustration with our health, or even the way our partner spends their time. Outer circumstances stir inner reactions. Whatever form the struggle takes, the path is the same: awareness first, healing second.

Imagine if we approached all our relationships with this kind of awareness. Instead of reacting blindly, we’d use each struggle as a doorway back to ourselves. Why? Because it’s rarely about the other person or situation. What they do may trigger us, but the root of the struggle lies within the one relationship we began the day with…our relationship with ourselves. And it’s there where true healing begins.

It takes courage to do this inner work, but the reward is always peace.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you discover what works for you…trust your truth…and find peace inside.