Self-Reflection 2.0

Woman reflecting on what's inside

Self-reflection opens the door for our learning and growing. In a single moment, we gain access to our inner world.

When we place our attention on past experiences, we reawaken the thoughts, emotions, and physical body sensations that were present at the time. This process is powerful. It allows us to become aware of what’s happening inside in relation to everything unfolding around us.

Why Reflect?

There’re many reasons to practice self-reflection and it’s been my experience that the most meaningful reason is the desire to heal any unrest we feel inside.

Unrest is a sign that we’re struggling. If we want to feel more peaceful, we need to understand what’s creating that struggle within us.

A helpful place to begin is by reflecting on our day and recalling moments when we became emotionally upset. We usually know which moments these are…we keep replaying them in our mind and the emotional charge hasn’t fully settled.

We’re especially interested in moments when we reacted…times when we felt conflicted, unsettled, or at odds with ourselves. These reactions may involve other people or situations we encountered. It could be an uncomfortable conversation with a loved one or becoming upset over an unexpected financial issue.

This reflection is not about criticizing ourselves for what we did or didn’t do, nor is it about changing or fixing others. The intention is to turn inward and connect with the source of our reactions.

How do we reflect?

Think of self-reflection as rewinding our day…with a clear intention to identify the moments when we became emotionally upset.

We want to notice the turning point: when did we shift from feeling okay to feeling unsettled? What changed?

This includes becoming aware of both external and internal details. We react when something happens outside of us that triggers thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations within us.

Outwardly, we recall who was involved, what happened, and the situation we were in.

Inwardly, we explore what we were thinking, how those thoughts made us feel emotionally and what we noticed in our body at the time.

An Example

Imagine you’re getting ready in the morning and feeling on schedule. You reach for your keys…and they’re not where you usually leave them. You begin searching calmly, but as time passes, the pressure builds. Eventually, you find the keys in your spouse’s coat pocket. They had moved the vehicle and forgot to put the keys back.

Suddenly, your chest feels tight, your mood drops and frustration sets in. What began as misplaced keys turns into a stressful morning and you barely make it to work on time.

This is a moment of reaction…a moment when inner peace was disrupted.

To reflect with the intention of healing, we look beyond the obvious details like missing keys or running late.

Outwardly, there were the keys and the situation of not finding them. Inwardly, there were thoughts such as “I always put them there. Why does this keep happening? Now I’m going to be late.” These thoughts led to feelings of being rushed, out of control or irresponsible, along with physical sensations like a tight chest.

The keys weren’t the real issue…they simply activated something that was already within.

Reflection doesn’t happen while we’re still emotionally activated. It’s best done later in the day or even days afterward when we’re calm and open.

When we reflect, we gently ask: Why was I so upset in that moment? The thoughts led to feelings and the feelings led to physical sensations. The external situation initiated the experience, but the source of the upset lives inside.

The people, events, and circumstances all played a role, yet they ultimately guided us inward to something within us that’s asking for awareness, care, and healing.

Through self-reflection, we become more aware of the patterns that cause us emotional unrest. It’s inside where the unrest exists and it’s inside where the healing takes place.

There is both purpose and grace in the practice of self-reflection. With greater awareness of our inner world we move closer to experiencing inner peace.