Moving Past the Conditioning

Person looking through a magnifying glass

Have you ever experienced saying something with certainty only to have someone question it? The questioning left you to feel as though you were wrong even though you knew you weren’t.

When things like this happen repeatedly, it quietly erodes our confidence and leaves us second-guessing what we know and feel.

Ever wondered where that comes from?

Here’s how a simple experience involving my husband became a powerful opportunity for my own learning and growing.

My husband Jimmy had two pairs of long johns that he wore to keep his legs warm in winter. Over time, the elastic in the waistbands wore out. My mom being a seamstress kindly offered to replace the elastics and we took them over to her house.

A few days later, we returned so Jimmy could try on the pair she had mended. As he stood in her sewing room stretching the waistband, he said the elastic felt too big and suggested it needed to be taken in another four inches.

My mom responded by saying he should take them home and try them out for a few days first.

From my perspective, there was no need for that…the elastic was clearly too loose and needed to be adjusted. I told mom we didn’t need to try them out…they needed to be taken in.

The next day, Jimmy put on the long johns and told me they didn’t fit. I was shocked to see they had come home with us. I reacted big time!

I could feel how quickly something outside of me triggered something much deeper inside. This reaction was an invitation to look inwardly.

I paused and paid attention to what was happening inside of me. I knew what I was feeling wasn’t about the long johns as much as it was about the comment my mom made, “Just take them home and try them out for a few days first.”

My thoughts began racing. What was going to be different in a few days? Were they going to magically fit two days later? 

As I listened more closely, I recognized the real source of my unrest. Growing up, I had unknowingly been conditioned to doubt what I felt inside. When my knowing was questioned, I learned to second-guess myself. Not in a healthy, reflective way, but in a quiet “I must be wrong” kind of way.

As soon as I had that realization, a wave of emotion came over me and I cried. I stayed present with those feelings, without judgment until they naturally dissolved. What remained was a deep sense of peace.

I felt gratitude for the experience because it offered me clarity. It showed me how subtly and innocently we can be conditioned to distrust our inner truth and how everyday moments can become powerful teachers when we’re willing to look within.

This example was not about my husband or my mom. It was about me. It’s about how my reactions revealed something unresolved inside of me, using an ordinary life situation as the doorway. I truly believe the people, situations, and experiences in our lives unfold in ways that support our healing regardless of who is involved.

Take a moment to reflect on your own life. Do you know what you’re feeling, even when you can’t explain it? Do you trust yourself or do you find yourself second-guessing your inner knowing?

There is no right or wrong answer. There is only awareness.

This is a perfect example of everyday life experiences that cause us to react and how conditioning, programming, and patterns surface, quietly shaping how we relate to ourselves.

Along our journey, we’re given opportunities to question any mis-truths. And when we do, we begin to trust what feels right and true for us whether we fully understand it or not.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.