The Real Source of Our Reactions (It's Not What You Think)

Barometer with the needle pointing to a happy face

We live in a world where change is constant. Change is happening both within and around us at all times. Internally, we experience thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. Externally, there’s people, things and our situations that shift every day.

Some of these changes we’re aware of, while others go unnoticed. If we tried to track them all, it would be impossible. However, when it comes to our daily life, there’re two important areas of change worth paying attention to:

1. Changing from happy to horrible

We can quickly shift from feeling happy to feeling horrible when we react.

Reactions show up in many ways and they’re always connected to something unresolved within us. While something outside of us triggers the reaction…what we feel is influenced just as much, if not more, by what’s going on inside.

For example, we have an argument with our spouse and feel upset for the rest of the day. On the surface, we might believe we’re upset because they didn’t do something we asked. But underneath that reaction may be something deeper…perhaps stress, avoidance, or something important we’ve been putting off.

That inner unrest builds, and when something external happens, it surfaces as a reaction.

There’s a difference between the situation itself and the unrest within us. While reactions appear to be about what’s happening outside, real resolution happens by turning our attention inward.

2. Changing from horrible to happy

The shift from feeling horrible to feeling happy takes place when we heal and resolve that inner unrest.

These changes often go unnoticed, yet they’re incredibly important, especially in our relationships.

When we resolve what’s going on within us, it naturally changes how we respond to others.

Think again about being upset with our spouse. The upset happens inside and it’s also within us where healing takes place. When that happens, we no longer react the same way. The next time a similar situation arises, our response is different.

“Change happens inside before it’s visible outside of us.”

This article isn’t about how to heal or resolve unrest…the world is full of “how-to” advice. Instead, this is about awareness.

Every experience offers an opportunity to learn and grow. Growth comes from noticing what’s going on within us in relation to what’s happening around us.

When we begin to pay attention…both to our emotional reactions and to the moments when we find resolution we give ourselves one of the greatest gifts: a deeper relationship with ourselves and more meaningful relationships with others.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you discover what works for you…trust your own truth…and find peace inside.