Maybe the Change Isn't Where We're Looking

Sad face to happy face with words time for change.

We live in a world where so much of our attention is focused outwardly.

We notice what other people are or aren't doing. And when something they do leaves us feeling uncomfortable, frustrated or upset, we often look to them to make a change.

If they would just do something differently, maybe we'd feel better.

When we're uncomfortable…have you ever noticed how often we automatically look outward, hoping for someone or something else to change?

The interesting thing is how much time and energy we put into paying attention to, blaming or finding fault in what someone else is doing…while never becoming curious about what's happening inside of us.

What if we're looking in the wrong place for the change?

I experienced this in my own life when family members would tell me I needed a more secure job. I listened to what they said and then found myself questioning everything about the work I was doing.

Questioning myself wasn't necessarily the problem. The problem was the importance I was giving to what they believed I should or shouldn't be doing.

Without realizing it, I was giving their opinions authority over my own direction. If they didn't approve of what I was doing, I began to wonder if maybe I was doing something wrong.

Back then, it didn't occur to me to look within myself for my own answers. Did I need to change…or not? I was so focused on what they thought that I wasn't paying attention to what was happening inside of me.

That's where awareness can change everything.

Looking inwardly doesn't mean we ignore what's happening around us or pretend other people don't affect us. But when something creates unrest within us, we can become curious.

What’s happening inside of us right now?

Maybe it's the unsupportive dialogue running through our minds. Maybe uncomfortable feelings suddenly appear and we look outwardly to change them. Maybe our bodies respond through sensations, tension or discomfort that demand our attention.

Awareness isn't about never having uncomfortable thoughts or feelings. It's about recognizing when they're there.

Because once we're aware of something, we have an opportunity to do something different.

We can reflect on what's surfacing. We can challenge the thoughts, conditioning and belief systems that no longer make sense to us. And we can ask ourselves whether someone else's opinion actually belongs in the driver's seat of our life.

Our uncomfortable feelings begin inside of us. While what happens around us may trigger or influence those feelings, the opportunity to better understand them is also found within us.

There're still days when I catch myself looking to others for the change. The difference now is that awareness helps me notice when it's happening. Instead of automatically doing that, I pause and look inward, asking myself, what feels right for me now?

At the end of the day, that's what matters most. 

Perhaps the greatest opportunity for change isn't always found by looking outwardly. Sometimes, it begins by becoming aware of what's happening within us.

Maybe the change we're seeking begins somewhere different than we thought.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you'll always be guided to feel at peace inside.