Where Self-Doubt Begins

Picture of heart loving it's own heart.

Have you ever said something you knew was correct, only to have someone question it and leave you feeling unsure of yourself?

Here is a perfect example of how reactions manifest in our lives. Something happens outside of us causing us to react inside!

My husband Jimmy had two pairs of long johns he wore to keep his legs warm in winter. They were his favorites and over time the elastic in the waistbands wore out. My mom, being a seamstress agreed to replace the elastics, so we headed over to her house to drop them off.

A few days later Jimmy went back to try on one pair she had mended. He came out of her sewing room to show us how the elastic fit. As he stretched the waistband, he told Mom it was too big and needed to be taken in about four more inches. My mom looked at him and told him to just take the long johns home and try them out for a few days first.

I told Mom we didn’t need to try them out…they needed to be taken in. But that’s not what happened. The next day Jimmy was standing in our kitchen wearing the long johns and telling me they didn’t fit. I reacted! I couldn’t believe he had brought them home when they clearly needed to be made smaller so they wouldn’t fall down.

This was a perfect example of how reactions show up in our lives. Something happens outside of us, and we react inside.

It has been my practice that whenever I react strongly, I take time to look within myself to see what caused the reaction. In this case, I could feel I was reacting to the comment my mom made: “Just take the long johns home and try them out for a few days first.”

My thoughts were racing. What was going to be different in a few days of wearing them? Were the long johns going to magically fit two days later?

To me, my mom had implied that Jimmy wasn’t feeling the situation correctly and that somehow, after trying them out for a few days, they would fit. As I listened to my thoughts, I began to see what was causing the unrest inside me.

This was a form of conditioning I had been subject to while growing up. It had led me to believe that what I felt wasn’t right. Over time I had learned to doubt and second-guess myself whenever I was challenged. Not in a healthy questioning way, but in a doubting, “I must be wrong” way.

When I connected to that doubt and the feelings that surfaced in that moment of reflection, all I could do was cry. I stayed with those feelings energetically until they disappeared and I felt peaceful again. I thanked my Divine for giving me that experience because it helped me see how innocently we can be conditioned to doubt or second-guess what we feel inside.

It’s important to recognize that this example is not about what Jimmy or my mom did. The example is about me, and how my reactions surfaced because of everyday situations around me.

I truly believe the people, things, and situations in my life unfold in ways that offer opportunities to heal and resolve unrest inside regardless of who or what is involved.

Think about your own life. Do you know what you’re feeling, even though you may not understand what it relates to or why? Can you trust those feelings, or do you find yourself second-guessing them?

There’s no right or wrong answer…there’s only awareness.

This is just one example of how conditioning, programming, or patterning can surface in our lives. We react and it’s through these reactions we sometimes discover mis-truths we’ve learned about ourselves. In recognizing them, we’re given the opportunity to challenge those mis-truths and discover our own truth.

Then we can begin to trust what we feel, whether we fully understand it or not.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you… find your own truth… and always be guided toward peace within.