What Are We Doing With What We See?

Two hands up at a face using finger and thumb to circle eyes.

I’ve been learning that awareness doesn’t mean agreement.

I can be aware you’re angry…without agreeing with how you’re expressing it. I can be aware you’re making a choice I wouldn’t make…without thinking you’re wrong. I can be aware you’re not ready to change…without trying to change you.

Awareness simply allows us to be in a space where we can say, “I see that’s where you’re at now.”  And that’s very different from saying, “I think this is okay.”

Sometimes we think being aware of what someone’s doing means we have to tolerate everything they do. We do not!

We can have boundaries. We can say no and walk away. We can protect ourselves.

And we can do all of that without needing to label someone as controlling, difficult, selfish or wrong.

Here’s where awareness becomes really powerful…

We can notice what someone is doing without deciding who they are.

We can notice their anger. We can notice their behaviour. We can notice their choices.

And we can even notice what their behaviour brings up inside of us.

Maybe we feel angry, afraid or even the need to defend ourselves.

Maybe we immediately want to fix the situation, change them or make them understand our point of view.

That’s awareness too.

Awareness isn’t only about seeing what’s happening out there.

It also gives us an opportunity to notice what’s happening within us as we experience it.

And when we notice that…we have a choice.

We can react from what we’re feeling…or we can pause long enough to decide what we want to do with what we’re seeing.

That might mean speaking up, setting a boundary or walking away. It might mean saying nothing.

It might even mean recognizing that someone simply isn’t where we are…and allowing them to have their experience without making it our job to change it.

Acceptance doesn’t mean we approve.

Awareness doesn’t mean we agree.

And understanding someone doesn’t mean we have to stay in a situation that doesn’t feel right for us.

Maybe having awareness isn’t about changing how someone else is. Maybe it’s about changing what we’re doing with what we see.

Because when we can see what’s happening without immediately needing to judge it, fix it, label it or change it…we create a little more space to choose how we want to respond.

And maybe that’s where our own healing begins.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you’ll always be guided to feel at peace inside.