The Power We Didn't Know We Were Giving Away

Hawk ready to fly from a tree

Have we ever looked up to someone and believed they had more power, wisdom or understanding than we did?

Maybe it's someone in a position of authority. Maybe it's a parent, a teacher, a friend or someone we admire.

What if, without even realizing it, we've given them a kind of power over us that they never really had in the first place?

Let me share something that opened my eyes!

A beautiful friend and I were talking about something they were experiencing at work. They'd been speaking with someone in a position of authority who was offering them guidance. Unfortunately, the words shared weren't supportive, leaving my friend walking away feeling less than great about themselves.

As we talked, I asked my friend why they were placing so much trust in someone whose guidance wasn't helping them.

Their answer stopped me in my tracks.

"Perceived power!"

WOW! Two little words that suddenly opened up a whole new level of awareness for me.

Because in that very moment, I recognized I was doing exactly the same thing in my own life!

When We Believe Someone Has More Power Than We Do

For me, it was my twin sister.

I'd been looking at her as someone who was more enlightened than I was. Someone who was further along on her journey. Someone who I believed was more connected to the Divine and, because of that, had greater wisdom and insight.

Can you believe it? Talk about having my eyes opened!

Without realizing it, I'd placed her in a position of perceived power. I'd somehow convinced myself she had something I didn't have.

And when I became aware of that, all kinds of feelings started surfacing.

She was smarter. Stronger. Wiser. Further along on her journey.

And where did that leave me?

Feeling less than. Feeling like I had so much further to go. Feeling like I needed to catch up!

I even recognized how much importance I was placing on her advice and opinions, almost as though her understanding of something was more valuable than my own.

Now, here's where it got really interesting.

My sister wasn't asking me to give her that power. I was the one giving it to her!

And that realization changed everything.

What Are We Giving Power To?

As I stayed with the feelings that were surfacing, these words came to me:

“When we don't give "it" power, "it" no longer has power over us!”

Let's think about that for a moment.

What does the word ‘it’ represent in our lives?

Could it be a person whose approval we're constantly seeking? A parent who hasn't been supportive of our choices? Someone whose position or title makes us believe their words carry more weight than our own?

Or maybe it's something entirely different.

What about a condition we've been diagnosed with? A label someone has given us? A situation we've convinced ourselves we have no control over?

Sometimes we can become so focused on what something means that we unknowingly give it the power to define what we believe is possible for us.

And before we know it, we're living from that belief.

We're allowing a person's opinion to determine our worth. We're allowing a label to define who we are. Or we're allowing a situation to convince us there's nothing we can do to change how we're experiencing it.

But here's something worth considering.

Is it really the person, condition or situation that has all that power, or is it the meaning we've given it?

Respecting Others Without Giving Away Our Power

Now, this isn't about disrespecting people in positions of authority. It's not about dismissing someone's knowledge, experience or wisdom.

And it certainly isn't about ignoring a medical condition or pretending a difficult situation doesn't exist.

It's about recognizing the difference between respecting something and allowing it to have power over how we feel about ourselves.

We can value someone's advice without believing they know more about our lives than we do.

We can admire someone's wisdom without believing we're somehow less wise.

We can acknowledge a condition or label without allowing it to become our entire identity.

And we can recognize that someone holds a position of authority without allowing their words to determine our worth.

We don't have to make someone else less powerful in order to recognize our own power.

Now that's something to think about!

Awareness Is Where Our Power Begins

For me, the greatest gift in that conversation with my friend wasn't recognizing the perceived power I'd given my sister.

It was becoming aware that I'd been doing it in the first place!

Because until we become aware of something, how can we begin to change it?

And this is where grace becomes so important.

We don't have to judge ourselves for the power we've given away. We don't have to criticize ourselves for believing someone else knows better or for feeling less than.

We can simply become aware of what we're doing, recognize how it's affecting us and give ourselves the grace to grow through the experience.

The next time we find ourselves feeling less than someone else, maybe we can ask:

·       What am I believing about this person that makes me feel they have more power than I do?

·       What am I believing about myself?

·       And what might change if I stopped giving those beliefs so much power?

We may discover that the power we've been looking for in someone else has been within us all along.

And perhaps that's the greatest realization of all.

There's nothing more powerful than our own grace and awareness.

Because awareness helps us recognize where we're struggling, and grace allows us to grow through those struggles with greater understanding.

And when we recognize the power we've been giving away, we have the opportunity to choose differently.

If you're struggling with something like this and would like support in growing your awareness, you're always welcome to book a session with.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you’ll always be guided to feel at peace inside.