top of page

Programmed Responses Come from Where

Sheila Unique


Cartoon Question Mark and Exclamation Point
Cartoon Question Mark and Exclamation Point

My family continues to offer me opportunities to learn and grow.


We were sitting around the table playing a game of cards on Christmas day. My nephew shared how he just bought a new bed and had spent a few thousand dollars on it. His mom, my sister, asked him why he would spend that much. I was sitting next to him and threw out a smartass comment, ‘because he could.’


My nephew so beautifully answered her explaining all the features in the bed and how they helped him sleep better at night. As he was talking, I became aware of how I didn’t feel good responding like I did. In that moment I had no idea what would happen next with that awareness. The game of cards continued.


Weeks later, during my meditation I recalled that same conversation involving my family at the table on Christmas day. From there my thoughts moved to when I was growing up having different conversations with family members.


I shared things I was doing and the family questioned me as to why I would even make those choices. Over time I didn’t feel safe to share and learned to develop a programmed response that was intended to shut them down so they wouldn’t continue to make me feel bad for things I had chosen to do. Words like ‘because I can’ was an example of my programmed response at the time.


As much as it didn’t feel good saying them on Christmas day, I found myself being grateful for the experience I had. I was now aware of a programmed response that no longer serves me. It was time for me to do some healing work inside.

With greater awareness related to my responses I’m finding I pay more attention to times when people ask me questions. If they sincerely want to know what or why I’m doing something, I now willingly let them know.   


I share this example with you to give you some idea of the kinds of programmed responses we have and where they originate from. We’ve learned them and then get to a place on our journey where those responses no longer serve us. With greater awareness we make a new choice to move past them in order to heal within our relationships.  


Wherever you are on your journey, may you find your own truth…find what works for you… And you’ll always be guided to feel at peace inside. 


Sheila Unique, Emotional Intelligence Specialist

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


BAIO-MEMBER-BADGE-OFFICIAL
  • X
  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn

@2025 Sheila Unique

Created by Sarah Kasleder at Media Vantage Point

bottom of page