Lacking Confidence vs Not Knowing

A hand writing Trust Yourself on the board

For the longest time I went through a phase where I thought I lacked confidence. I happened to talk with a Shaman who helped me to realize I wasn’t lacking confidence, I just thought I needed to know everything about everyone before I worked with them.

Not knowing left me feeling insecure and kept me from doing many things in my life. I appreciate knowing everything isn’t possible but for some reason my mind sure convinced me it was.

I hid behind the words of lacking confidence as it was a great excuse for not physically doing things in my life. I used the word ‘physically’ with purpose.

Even though I didn’t have a lot of physical success in my business, I was ‘energetically’ working on things all the time.   

I judged my lack of physical success in my professional work as a sign of where I was at in my business.  

Did I hold myself back and play small? You bet I did. What I was working with in my profession was beyond words making it hard for marketing. I received negative feedback from people who were close to me and took that to heart. Not all people were ready for the grace that flowed through me. I know I couldn’t understand how I knew what I knew or how to explain it for them and found myself in a position of not knowing how or what to do and I chose not to do.

Did I overthink and second guess things? You bet I did. I over thought how to talk with people and even second guessed my timing of things. Why? Because I’m a human being with a mind and the mind is very influential when feeling insecure.  

Did I allow fear to lead? You bet I did. I didn’t have all the answers I wanted. I was living my life based on what I learned family and society believed was the way to operate a business. It wasn’t because I lacked confidence. It was because I lacked MYSELF!

What’s interesting…is I didn’t feel I lacked confidence related to the ‘energy clearing work’ I did. I knew when energies were present and when they were cleared.

I knew what I was ‘reading’ for others was accurate because over my 22 years of working with it professionally, I’ve proven it time and time again.

I learned early on not to second guess the information I was blessed to channel for others. I also realized just because people weren’t aware of things I shared with them, didn’t mean the information was inaccurate.  

So for you…if you find you’re lacking confidence in the work you do thinking you don’t know things, I invite you to ask yourself this question. What is it that you specifically think you don’t know?

Consider this example. Frank has been in marketing with the government for over 15 years and for the past year has been in management. Recently he got a new management position working with marketing but in a new branch of the government which he wasn’t familiar with.

During the first few months, he made decisions that were problematic leaving him to question his ability to do the job. It got to the place where decision making began to eat away at his self-confidence and it was taking longer and longer to decide what needed to be done.

Frank was sharing with me how he wasn’t feeling as confident as he used to and really struggled to go into work. I guided him to look deeper into what he thought was depleting his confidence levels. We were both blown away by what we learned.

For Frank, he went into that new job knowing about marketing, knowing about management and also knowing about government. Through his session with me he got to a place where he could now see he didn’t know how to communicate with his new boss. This new boss had a difficult personality to work with causing him to feel less and less like he knew anything at work. That alone drained his confidence and spilled over into every area of management. Having this new empowering perspective allowed Frank to re-gain confidence and work specifically with his communication problem.

For me, through much inner work, I’ve become aware of the relationship between self-confidence versus not knowing.

The more I challenge things like belief systems, negative repetitive thoughts and old programing the more clarity, focus and forward action leads from within me.

The more I have the courage to look inside in relation to what’s happening outside of me, the more I’m now feeling confident about what it is that I’m being shown in every moment of time. I experience a new version of myself unfolding.  

I truly feel we’re always rewarded for doing our inner work.

When it comes to my profession, I now live with the truth that I don’t need to know all about people and their businesses…I need to show up. I only need to know the things they struggle with and how that makes them feel. The rest reveals itself naturally regardless, if it’s in their personal or professional lives.   

If you’re struggling with things like self-confidence and want to explore this further, consider a one-on-one private session with me. I’d love to connect.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside. 

Sheila Unique, Emotional Intelligence Specialist